Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
