Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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