literally had 100 drinks last night.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize