I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
3pm strippers are depressing
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
