the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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