I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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