he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
