ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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