so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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