If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize