We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
