i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
