Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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