I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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