Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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