Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
