I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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