oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
