what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
