i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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