we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
