You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Cover your peen. We're going out.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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