Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
