she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
