After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize