It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
