I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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