Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
