just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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