just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
id be glad to
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
