what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
