is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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