I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
