when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if i can run in heels then i can drive
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
