On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
