It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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