hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He felt like a one man threesome
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
