Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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