Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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