cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
