I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
