Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I have fence marks all over my body
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
