Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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