people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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