oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
