Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night

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(416): View more from Toronto

I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�

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(716): View more from New York

Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?

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(757): View more from Virginia

He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense

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