Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
