I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
