man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
