lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I've blown a few things in my day
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
