everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
