But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
