i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
