mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize