Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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