he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
