Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
