Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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