No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
